Lindsay Lohan Goes Berserk

EXTRA EXTRA READ ALL ABOUT IT!

The latest news from the National Enquirer : LINDSAY LOHAN GOES BERSERK IN REHAB.

I'll now take you to my version of the story. I haven't actually read it, nor will I. But let's put it like this Lindsay walks into the rahab center wearing nothing but a donut, and there's a priest and Michael Jackson and two other randomly inserted object type things.

None of it actually happens but it appears to. Then for awhile people talk amongst themselves as if they are having a conversation or some sort of exchanging of ideas but this is impossible since there were none.

But like animals the instintual elements are there I suppose.

Perhaps that's the whole problem. Maybe not... Maybe that's complete bullshit.

Furthermore I hate every molecule of my body that knows who Lindsay Lohan is and who has any interest in anything she does.

This is not because of any particular distaste for this young lady. I don't know her from anyone else. I find it hard to believe she's worse than a trillion other sorority whore type chicks that take up space on this planet of ours. But it is because I hate that my mind is clouded in any way by this sort of soap opera garbage.

Ya dig? I hope that you are here, that you are here right now wanting to read some celebrity gossip and that I've just opened up your mind and made you realize what a complete moron you are being. THIS IS IT FRIEND. This is life. Yeah, yeah, motherbiscuit. I'm preachin'. Preaching from the mountain top. Can't have that. Drone along friend. See it's all part of the system. Anyone who tries to stop it. There's names for these. Names for those. THOUGHTS FOR NO ONE.